Do I want kids?

I never thought this could even be a question for me.

Until I was 28, I was single and not through a lack of trying. Lol. I spent around eight years on dating apps and only managed short lived, seeing stages until I met T.

I met T just over two years ago and I feel like such a lucky girl to be his girlfriend. Not for the status, but for who he is and how he makes me feel. He's kind, funny, intelligent and he supports me. He holds me as I cry and strokes my hair until the tears subside and he'll say something funny to get a laugh out of me. He drives because he knows I don't like it, he sorts my car out, untangles my necklaces, buys me surprise flowers and gives the best hugs.

Sorry, I got side tracked. I just didn't think I'd ever have a relationship. Which is why I never thought much about having children. And now I'm starting to. I also had a gynaecological misdiagnosis that contributed to this lack of thought.

I turned 30 last year which has made me panic. Especially as getting pregnant gets harder after 35.

I've never considered myself to be particularly maternal and I find most kids annoying, but a big part of me is yearning for a baby. And I'm confused about it.

I know T is not keen on the idea of kids, he said never say never but I don't want to make my decision based on him. I love him, I live with him and can't imagine life without him but I want to make my decision based on me.

I need more time to think about this but I'm scared about running out of time.